Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I believe in your delicious
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
