It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
