her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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