my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize