She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize