I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
