i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
