Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
