So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
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Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
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I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.