Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"

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(505): View more from New Mexico

well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.

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(360): View more from Washington

We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.

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(512): View more from Texas

Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(757): View more from Virginia

Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.

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(954): View more from Florida

Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.

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(707): View more from California

You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.

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(940): View more from Texas

After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.

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