maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.