Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
it glows. i had to have it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
