oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
