He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
