Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize