Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
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this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
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I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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