I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
