if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
