I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
