my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
