I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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