my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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