We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
