I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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