I wannas sexs uuuuu
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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