Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You did what with his pubic hair?
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