I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
