I bet he comes in French.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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