is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
