STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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