Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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