i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
