My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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