I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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