how can u be prego again
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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