I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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