I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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