remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
