the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Floor bacon is actually really good
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
