babies were throwing up all over the place
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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