so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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