...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
