last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
