dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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