Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You made out with two different species that night
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize