Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
