Small penises have feelings too.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
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You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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