I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
