Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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