problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
