My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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