can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
