I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
