found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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