He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
