so explain again why im purple
no
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
