census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
