eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
