i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
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Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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